Facebook Breakup

Teenagers today are so used to living a large majority of their social lives through technological means.  I've known some kids who initiated new "romantic" relationships, conducted those relationships, and ended those relationships all through Facebook.  (Is it fair to put quotation marks around "romantic"?  I think so...  However, I do acknowledge that there was a time when new romances were forged through letter writing, so...)

That's not actually what I'm going to talk about, though, in this post.

Facebook and I have broken up.

I know that many people enjoy FB.  I did, too, for a while.  At first, it was exciting.  Facebook gave me the ability to reconnect with a lot of old friends and forge new connections with new friends.  I even have "met" a couple of great people who I have never actually met in person.  You know who you are. :)

So, I can't completely regret my time with Facebook.  But, like a bad relationship, it became toxic for me to remain in it.

Why?

1)  I started to not like myself.  I got so unbelievably sick of seeing my own face hover around every single page.  With the current release of FB, my photo sat next to an empty comment box underneath every single item in the news feed.  On my own timeline, the same was true.  I saw myself everywhere!  Beyond that, I was tired of my obsessive nature being fed by the FB giant.  I felt compelled to post new status updates constantly.  I was sick of my own virtual voice.

2)  I started to not like my friends.  I struggled to like people that I love, trusted, am related to, work with...it didn't matter who they were.  If I saw something they did that made me uncomfortable or if they expressed an opinion that chafed against my own, I was constantly tempted to unfriend them or, at a minimum, hide their updates from my news feed.  What is that???  I'm not like that in real life!!!  So, I asked myself why I felt that way online.  I think it's because the online world gave me unhealthy doses of two things.  Information and anonymity.  I could silently watch my friends comment and post photos and silently sit in judgment of them.  Maybe not everyone does this.  I did.  It started to make me even sicker.

3)  I started to forget what it's like to actually have friends...in person.  I spent inordinate amounts of time online.  Granted, not every single minute on the internet was devoted to Facebook, but I can admit I am one of those people who checked my FB account way too many times throughout the day.  Worst yet, I had an almost out of body experience recently when I realized that I was at a party, IN PERSON,  and I stepped away to check my Facebook.  That's just messed up.

4)  I started to feel unsafe.  I felt unsafe in a lot of ways.  I didn't like Facebook's ever-changing policies.  I found myself logged into locations that made no sense on devices I didn't recognize.  I felt weird about the fact that I had personal information and photos posted all over that thing.  Worse yet, I didn't feel emotionally safe.  I felt like I couldn't really be myself.  Just like I was over-analyzing the things my friends were saying, I am just as certain they were doing the same of me.  As a Christian, I felt like my love for Jesus or my morals and values became taboo and unwelcome.  I didn't like feeling like a second class citizen.  I acknowledge that no one can make me feel this way.  But, I did feel that way.  And I felt like Facebook was a catalyst for me to feel that way about myself and I started to see it as a bit of a hostile, online community.

I share all this, well, because I can.  Heck, it's my blog.  But, I share it because I need to remind myself of the reasons why I let it go.  This unhealthy relationship I had with Facebook simply had / has to come to an end.

I deleted my account on Friday, March 29, 2013, at 7:30 PM (or so).  Just like some sort of emotionally abusive boyfriend, Facebook assumes I'll come running back because I can't find something more satisfying.  After I deleted it, the site literally sent me an email that stated that, "Your account is deleted.  However, it really is only suspended for the next 14 days.  If you log back in during those two weeks, your account will be reactivated immediately and none of your information will be lost."  And all will be right in the virtual world again and you will thank me that I didn't delete all your pictures, Katy.  And don't you want to remember what you posted in 2007????  (Okay, I added that last part.)

Facebook functions within a crafty level of brilliance.  I swear someone on their staff took a Psychology class or two and have applied the science that it takes at least 14 days to break a habit.  They're banking on the idea that I'll give in and come back.

Sorry, folks at Facebook HQ.  I'm not going back.  Yes, yes, I did go back two times before, when we temporarily broke up in the past.  But, I have found the confidence and the strength to let it go permanently this time.

By the way, if you feel like being a super good friend to me, please remind me of this resolute decision if I start to sound like I'm wavering.

In short, I'm free of this social experiment called Facebook.   I couldn't be happier.

Love,
Katy