Our culture is full of empty statements and meaningless questions. We repeat these things as if they have any significance or are helpful in any way. It's funny what we've become used to.
Person 1: How are you?
Person 2: Good, thanks. And you?
Person 1: Good, thanks.
We rarely want to know how someone is really doing. I remember one time when I was just starting my senior year of high school, I ran into my favorite teacher in the hallway. I asked him, "How are you?" and he answered. Honestly. He told me all about his awful summer, tragedies and sorrows. It made me sad for two reasons. 1) He had experienced a really rough time. 2) I had to admit to myself that I didn't actually mean it when I had asked him, but I did care once he started talking. Our typical response of "Good, thanks" is rarely true anyway. The word good is so general and, in fact, inaccurate. If anything, you are doing well. Grammar hound here. :)
To your friend: Oh, my dear BFF, you'll find someone even better than that jerk!
We say this to our loved ones. We tell them this whenever someone hurts them or breaks their hearts. And we don't want them to hurt. This statement might mostly be true, but let's be honest. They'll find someone different. "Better" is completely subjective. Better in some ways, worse in others maybe. What I want to say is this, instead. "I'm gonna pray so hard that the next time you fall in love it will be with someone who treats you with love, respect and honesty. But, most of all, they will love Jesus with such commitment and passion that loving you will come naturally to them."
Person 1: I'm sorry.
Person 2: It's okay.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I downright HATE this one. I refuse to receive "It's okay" as an acceptable response to "I'm sorry." Because, as a matter of fact, it is not okay. What you did sucked. It hurt me. It was mean / selfish / rude, etc.... Instead, I will say, "I forgive you." (With the help of God, I might add.) We need more forgiveness in this world and a lot less of the pathetic, mediocre "okay" garbage. I know a family that is really good at saying "I forgive you" and I've learned a lot from them. Actually, the biggest lesson is that when someone says it to you after you've apologized, you suddenly realize that you needed forgiveness. It opens your eyes to how much you messed up or actually hurt the person. If they say, it was "okay" then it gets glossed over and minimized. Hearing "I forgive you" is powerful. It reveals whether or not you were really sorry in the first place.
I dream of living in a society where we do away with this kind of drivel. I want to have real conversations. No glossing over, no walking on eggshells, just real, honest stuff. (All done in love, of course.)
What are some trite statements or questions that get under your skin?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Void
I love Norah Ephron movies. Twice now, I've noticed that she's written screenplays in which her principal female character says something about putting her thoughts out into the great cosmic "void"...as if no one is really listening or cares about what she has on her mind.
To this concept, I can deeply relate. This blog has been a funny thing for me. On one hand, I want people to read it and get something out of it. Insight, humor, empathy...etc. On the other hand, I kinda like the idea that no one may be reading it, so I can feel free to say whatever the heck I want about life with no concern over a critical response from the reader.
So, I've decided to throw caution to the wind and just write what I want to write about. There's nothing I'll say here that God will be surprised by and His presence negates the idea of the cosmos being void. So, Lord, hope you like my blog. I think You may be my only regular reader.
You know what sucks.....being pulled into too many directions and feeling like you want conflicting things.
I like being alone, but I don't actually want to be alone.
I want to have friends, but I really have to push myself to make an effort to maintain friendships.
I am an independent, strong and confident woman, but I like the idea of a loving husband (someday soon) who would want to "take care" of me.
Blech. Confusing.
The other day, I had this thought about myself as a genuine adult for really the first time in my life. I'm 32. That feels like all kinds of dysfunction. How does a 32 year old woman only just realize that she's an adult? I've lived on my own, even many hours away from family, held down legitmate jobs, paid my own bills, etc...for years! And yet, I am only recently feeling "grown up". I don't really like it. Well, sometimes I do, but not today. Today I wish I could just be a kid again and have an allowance.
Life is weird.
To this concept, I can deeply relate. This blog has been a funny thing for me. On one hand, I want people to read it and get something out of it. Insight, humor, empathy...etc. On the other hand, I kinda like the idea that no one may be reading it, so I can feel free to say whatever the heck I want about life with no concern over a critical response from the reader.
So, I've decided to throw caution to the wind and just write what I want to write about. There's nothing I'll say here that God will be surprised by and His presence negates the idea of the cosmos being void. So, Lord, hope you like my blog. I think You may be my only regular reader.
You know what sucks.....being pulled into too many directions and feeling like you want conflicting things.
I like being alone, but I don't actually want to be alone.
I want to have friends, but I really have to push myself to make an effort to maintain friendships.
I am an independent, strong and confident woman, but I like the idea of a loving husband (someday soon) who would want to "take care" of me.
Blech. Confusing.
The other day, I had this thought about myself as a genuine adult for really the first time in my life. I'm 32. That feels like all kinds of dysfunction. How does a 32 year old woman only just realize that she's an adult? I've lived on my own, even many hours away from family, held down legitmate jobs, paid my own bills, etc...for years! And yet, I am only recently feeling "grown up". I don't really like it. Well, sometimes I do, but not today. Today I wish I could just be a kid again and have an allowance.
Life is weird.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Loving One Another
I've been thinking a lot lately about the Christian condition. These days it seems like Christians have a problem with each other more than ever. Conservative-types have issues with more liberal thinkers. Liberal-types are frustrated by the conservative ones. And a myriad of gray-shades in between.
I'll tell you what frustrates me. All of that garbage. Jesus told us that the world would know that the Father had sent him by our love for one another - meaning how believers would love one another.
As Christians, we are really struggling with this. Why? Why do we show less love and forgiveness for other Christians than we do for the non-believer or on-their-way-to-believing person?
We tend to say "hypocrite" way more often than we say "I forgive you". We focus more on what we don't like about each other's perspective than we do on what Jesus actually told us to do.
I put myself in that same boat though. Don't get me wrong. I've fallen into bad attitudes about Christians (all types) at many times in my life. But, this is not helping the cause of spreading the Gospel in the world.
Maybe we need a reminder of what the Gospel really is. It is this.
That while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. That God loved this world so unbelievably much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for our sins so that not a single person needs to be separated from Him if they would simply put their trust in Jesus. That we are called to share this amazing news with the world, make disciples of Jesus and go around being representatives of the Kingdom of God in the world. That we are to care for the poor, the orphan, the widow. We are to be the BODY of Christ, undivided, unified, purposeful in the Earth.
Let's do that, instead of being angry at each other. Let's focus on the things the Lord Himself has told us to do.
Let's also LOVE each other. What is LOVE? Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud, or rude or self-seeking. It is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrong. Love doesn't rejoice in evil, but in the truth. It protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. It NEVER fails.
Help us, Jesus, to be what you said we could be.
Brothers. Sisters. Your Body. Your Bride.
Love,
Katy
I'll tell you what frustrates me. All of that garbage. Jesus told us that the world would know that the Father had sent him by our love for one another - meaning how believers would love one another.
As Christians, we are really struggling with this. Why? Why do we show less love and forgiveness for other Christians than we do for the non-believer or on-their-way-to-believing person?
We tend to say "hypocrite" way more often than we say "I forgive you". We focus more on what we don't like about each other's perspective than we do on what Jesus actually told us to do.
I put myself in that same boat though. Don't get me wrong. I've fallen into bad attitudes about Christians (all types) at many times in my life. But, this is not helping the cause of spreading the Gospel in the world.
Maybe we need a reminder of what the Gospel really is. It is this.
That while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. That God loved this world so unbelievably much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die for our sins so that not a single person needs to be separated from Him if they would simply put their trust in Jesus. That we are called to share this amazing news with the world, make disciples of Jesus and go around being representatives of the Kingdom of God in the world. That we are to care for the poor, the orphan, the widow. We are to be the BODY of Christ, undivided, unified, purposeful in the Earth.
Let's do that, instead of being angry at each other. Let's focus on the things the Lord Himself has told us to do.
Let's also LOVE each other. What is LOVE? Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud, or rude or self-seeking. It is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrong. Love doesn't rejoice in evil, but in the truth. It protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. It NEVER fails.
Help us, Jesus, to be what you said we could be.
Brothers. Sisters. Your Body. Your Bride.
Love,
Katy
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